My unconscious creations:

I thought last many many years to set goals for my life. I was aware that life should have purposes. I thought and tried to decide what is the purpose of my life? I attempted many times to figure out what I want in different areas of my life. I waited, procrastinated but I could not take any decision. I wonder why I could not take decision. I say I want decide a purpose for my life. I say I will set some goals in different areas of my life. But my action says, "I don't want to decide any purpose for my life. I don't want to set goals for different areas of my life."

In other way my action shows

I don't want purposeful life.

I don't want to create my life deliberately.

But why?

Why I don't want to decide one or several purposes of my life?

Why I don't like goal setting.

I am seeing many many patterns of unconscious creation - I created repeatedly in my life.

Some of them like:

I have no goal in my life.

I have no clear purpose in my life.

I limit my income.

I limit my position.

I attract somebody less expert over me.

I bring myself at inferior position.

I attract misunderstanding, mis-assessments by others.

I attract somebody, who take advantage over me.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . etc.

from where I got all these ideas?

Ha ha ha! I know from where I picked all those ideas. From my early childhood.

I never seen my parents had any other goal than nurturing their children.

Their lives were for their children. All their thoughts, words or actions for their children. At least, it seems to me like that. Provide their children, educate them, give them opportunities know, learn and perform arts-literature-music all good things.

Of course great ambitions. I don't know whether they have any purpose for their life. So I don't get any for my life. My life also for my family for my children for my extended family members. Of course I share with friends or others my blessings money understanding compassion etc.

But I yearn for a purposeful life. More specific. More satisfying. More serving for this planet.

Not to decide is to decide.